Spirit Of Aquarius [2008]

by Jeremy Garner

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about

All songs written, recorded, and produced by Jeremy Garner*
*Vocals in track 1, didgeridoo in track 4, lyrical contributions in tracks 2 and 7, and musical contributions in track 2 by Hayden Cook who also spent many months discussing plans for this album.
Violin on track 5 by Sam Miller.

credits

released January 1, 2008

tags

license

all rights reserved
Track Name: The Prayer For Bel Maria
In the night she heard them
Far away cried out in pain
While her body lay there sleeping
Never to wake up again
She had watched her lifeless body
Lowered deep into the ground
Without delay, her fear began
To gather all around

Pray for Bel Maria,
Won't you pray for her this night
She did not deserve this fate
She was far too young to die
May these final hours of preparation
For her soul of light
Be remembered as the day
When all our demons fall behind

A force beyond control,
Taken silently away
To an unfamiliar child,
In an unfamiliar place,
There was no sense of time,
And without a guiding light,
She now began to listen to Yemon,
The Blessed Child

Pray for Bel Maria,
Won't you pray for her this night
She did not deserve this fate
She was far too young to die
May these final hours of preparation
For her soul of light
Be remembered as the day
When all our demons fall behind

They're all afraid to die,
So they buy a better gun,
Afraid to be attacked,
Prepare for war
They don't know how to work,
Faced with misery, then crime
Everyone is terrified of life.

Go to hell or believe in God
Stay in school if you want a good job
Buy it now, before it's too late
You'll never succeed, so it's safer to wait
Lock all your doors, stay safe from the mob
If you don't take this, then you won't live long
They're all so weak, when they're so afraid
Terrorize the world and we lead the way

Pray for Bel Maria,
Won't you pray for her this night
She did not deserve this fate
She was far too young to die
May these final hours of preparation
For her soul of light
Be remembered as the day
When all our demons fall behind

Thus it was that Bel Maria
Suddenly realized
That during life her eyes were sealed
And opened as she died

She said
"The world's controlled by fear,
But what the rulers do not see,
Is their own fear to lose control,
Will set the people free."
Track Name: Prison Without Bars
Loved ones far away,
Broken down and lost
In a prison without bars,
She is locked.

Bel must face this task alone,
No one here to help her see,
Only she can find the hidden key.

Your sorrow shows beneath the mask,
Of your false happiness,
As time begins to wear away the lie
The key that she is looking for
Will not be found outside her mind
The gates can only be unlocked
From deep inside

Sudden memory relapse
Everything's going black
No tears remain
To cry away her pain

Dramatic changes in this world
She wanders far from home
Wondering if she'll always be alone

Your sorrow shows beneath the mask,
Of your false happiness,
As time begins to wear away the lie
The key that she is looking for
Will not be found outside her mind
The gates can only be unlocked
From deep inside

Auditory hallucinations,
Sounds of screaming children,
Babies crying, people laughing,
People chanting, people cheering,
Sounds of scraping coffin lids,
Of waking up in fear and guilt,
So far from unappreciated beauty
Beauty.

Another worldly play in check,
The key was realization,
Depression just another flaw,
The prison gates have opened.
Track Name: Exposé
Isolation,
Living deepest fears,
Exposed in front of everyone

Everyone,
Everyone keeps staring,
They're pointing and they're laughing at the fool

Fool,
Just another worthless fool,
Rejected by them all

All she really wanted was to smile again
Forgetting all the memories of pain
Just for one beautiful day

Burning,
Embarrassment burning,
Experience into her mind

Mind,
Violent mind,
Created by all of their lies

Lies,
She can't disguise,
The pain from no appreciation burning in her eyes

All she really wanted was to smile again
Forgetting all the memories of pain
Just for one beautiful day

All she really wanted was to smile again
Forgetting all the memories of pain
Just for one beautiful day

One beautiful day in silence.
Track Name: Inside Of Me
I'm starting to love the pain
They have all left me here to rot
Comforting me,
Before I am gone forever
I cannot face my fears
The moment is so close
It's waking up inside of me
Ready to take over
Cutting off my feelings for you
Cutting off my feelings for you
You don't know what I am
You don't know what I am
Track Name: No Going Back
If only we'd go back and change the past
This guilt that's shaping my life couldn't last

If only my regret and hurt would leave
This life then wouldn't need to torture me
No, no.

There is no going back,
To recover what we lack,
What I have done I can't escape from now
It's my fault that she died
From this I cannot hide
My conscience will forever haunt me now

Forgive me,
Forget about me
Everything went wrong
I'll leave you now
Leave you alone
Find out where I belong

Forgive me,
Forget about me
Everything went wrong
I'll leave you now
Leave you alone
Find out where I belong

"There are people who are murdered in their sleep,
They use that as a defense, it's a sleep disorder,
But we never know about it, because we're asleep"

Through these feelings I've begun to know,
That guilt is merely self-imposed
Then we feel undeserving,
Weak and tired,
While they run the show,
I'm sure that's why religion has the seven deadly sins,
To make the world feel guilty,
For every natural thing.

Forgive me,
Forget about me
Everything went wrong
I'll leave you now
Leave you alone
Find out where I belong

Forgive me,
Forget about me
Everything went wrong
I'll leave you now
Leave you alone
Find out where I belong

"Apparently these people don't have that paralysis mechanism,
That stops them acting out on their dreams,
We're all on a spectrum of experience,
And some feel things more than the others."

As Bel Maria quietly observed her old friend Glenn,
She wanted to explain to him,
"It's not your fault again,
Don't blame yourself
For all the things that were just meant to be,
There is no strength in feeling guilt,
So lose it now with me."
Track Name: Smoke Of Anger
Darkness,
Feelings of danger,
Instincts of anger,
Thoughts of hatred.

Confusion,
Feelings of failure,
Visions of strangers,
Not sure she'll make it.

Before her stood an angry man,
The leader of a violent gang,
The moment they all screamed his name,
She knew what she was up against.

His father always said to him:

"You will never reach success,
You're a useless, lazy child,
Always dreaming you're the best."
He said:
"You'll never reach success,
You're a useless, lazy child,
Always dreaming you're the best."

The ancient church goes up in flames,
A message to the world,
The smoke of anger reaching out to all the boys and girls,
The only thing regret can alter is how we perceive
This moment we are in right now
And not the time that's been

His father always said to him:

"You will never reach success,
You're a useless, lazy child,
Always dreaming you're the best."
He said:
"You'll never reach success,
You're a useless, lazy child,
Always dreaming you're the best."

Locked in prison for the deed,
His fathers words have come to pass,
Anger gives the strength you need,
But always makes you act too fast.
Track Name: Hero From A Nobody
Another slave roped into the system
Another life that will not end
Another set of chains and shackles
Another lack of innocence
Another world is wasted now
Another time has faded now
Another place has left us on our own
Waiting for the world to take us home

Liberate me,
Liberate me, save me
Liberate me,
Won't you take me from my mind
Liberate me, save me from this nightmare
Liberate me, save me from this life
Liberate me, save me from this place
Won't you take me from my mind

All it takes is one,
To rise above reality
All it takes is one,
A hero from a nobody

Liberate me, save me from this nightmare
Liberate me, save me from this life
Liberate me, save me from this place
Won't you take me from my mind

All it takes is one,
To rise above reality
All it takes is one,
A hero from a nobody

"This whole theme of things repeating themselves,
Is that what you feel your life is like?
People's minds and people's emotions
And people's behavior?
Where do you get that information from?
People have no desire to change?
Why do you want to analyze them?
Sounds like you should be a psychologist."

All it takes is one,
To rise above reality
All it takes is one,
A hero from a nobody
Track Name: Descent
Shadows of the endless night,
Walk with me and comfort me,
You're waking up inside of me,
And soon you will take over me,
There is no future I foresee,
Now is where I want to be
I'm trapped and have lost all control
I need you now to save my soul.
Save me.
Track Name: Depth Of Sorrow
I am alone,
Unknown,
And all the world has turned their backs on me

I've been rejected,
Disconnected,
Everyone hates and despises me

So isolated,
Feeling hollow,
Driven to the depths of sorrow

So much hiding in my mind,
Hints inside my darkest eyes,
Without a glimpse the world just passes by
Take me to another grave,
This world is far too dead to save,
I'm going now,
Farewell, so long,
Goodbye

And I just wish you could understand these words
Comprehend my every thought
Know that what you see before you
Isn't really me

Seems like I do not exist
Wandering round in this loneliness
Watching you but you never see me

I don't expect you'll understand
But now for me this is the end
As I leave, there's no one there to know
Or care that I am gone

So much hiding in my mind,
Hints inside my darkest eyes,
Without a glimpse the world just passes by
Take me to another grave,
This world is far too dead to save,
I'm going now,
Farewell, so long,
Goodbye
Track Name: Ghosts Of The Murdered
In the distance Bel could see
A spirit woman crying
The crying woman spoke to her
She'd obviously decided
The time had come
To free herself
From what she kept inside
By telling Bel Maria
If she'd listen
How she died.

She was so alone,
Afraid and wondering how it all could end
With a state of mind so vulnerable,
Unable to defend,
Her every wish and every prayer was finally in view
As she found the love of her life
And believed this love was true

Though as the days passed on
Many strange things happened fast
And she started seeing signs
And wondered how long this could last
For everyday she would be hurt and beaten violently
But never could destroy her love
For fear of what might be

The love we think we feel is insecurity
These passions and desires are not love
We fear to be alone and so we seek out one to guide us
But fear and dependence are not love

The child who depends upon their parents
For their shelter, for their clothing and their food
Will fear the loss of parents for their own self-preservation
Is this love or is this fear changing their mood?
When your partner is in danger of their death,
And you feel like you now love them more than ever,
Is this not just because you think your own life is at stake?
Afraid that you might lose your source of pleasure?

The love we think we feel is insecurity
These passions and desires are not love
We fear to be alone and so we seek out one to guide us
But fear and dependence are not love

Lying in bed one night,
She was too afraid to move,
As she saw a shining knife before her,
Clearly in her view,
Before she said a word,
She was screaming her last breath
As the knife came down so sudden,
And directly in her chest
She was terrified, in shock
And soon she strayed into a dream
Everything was going hazy
Had forgotten everything
And then she saw her headstone
Looking out towards the sea
And there he was in sadness
Crying "we will meet again"
She knew that he had killed her
To this day she knows not why
But even though he caused such misery
Destroyed her life
She cannot help but feel the love
Still burning deep inside
To stay with her forever
Until the end of time.

The love we think we feel is insecurity
These passions and desires are not love
We fear to be alone and so we seek out one to guide us
But fear and dependence are not love.